Why I Voted Democrat

Don't be scared. I didn't vote Democrat, it's just the name of the email that I received today. The content of the email I received is a remarkable insight to Democrat voters. I'm hoping this was written as a joke but I'm not entirely sure since I've actually met people who would agree with some of these statements.

I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I voted Democrat because I believe that oil company profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 15% on the same gallon are not.

I voted Democrat because I believe that the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because I believe that freedom of speech should be strongly supported...as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if if will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned with the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They should break even and give the rest away to government to redistribute as government sees fit.

I voted Democrat because I believe that liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

If you did vote Democrat, especially a straight ticket, you really need to re-read this entry and figure out if this really is you. If it is please seek treatment (at your own damn expense).