The PC Quiz Part 1

Are you Politically Correct, or do you have a brain? In other words do you automatically default to PC nonsense instead of using the gray matter between your ears? The PC Quiz is here to help you find out. Answer our first question correctly and there may be some hope for you. Answer incorrectly and you'll know you're just a PC hack.
The PC Quiz Part 1

US Redneck Special Forces

The Pentagon announced today that it has formed a new elite unit - US Redneck Special Forces - from East Texas. The elite warriors will be sent to Afghanistan and given ONLY this info about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There's no bag limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They hate beer, pickups, country music, & Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon's top Generals expect the war to be over next week.

More Unwarranted Awards For Obama?

Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his good intentions...and we know what road is paved with those, right? Anyway, I think he'll probably get some other awards he doesn't deserve. C'mon, just think of an award...
More Unwarranted Awards For Obama?

President Obama's Teleprompter Speech Template

It's hard to escape hearing or seeing President Obama. He really seems to love hearing himself so he talks and talks and talks while saying pretty much nothing at all. It turns out there's a template used for his speeches that gets plugged into his many teleprompters. It goes something like:

I'd like to welcome blah, blah, blah, I'm blah, blah, blah, I know blah, blah, blah, I feel blah, blah, blah, I won blah, blah, blah, I will blah, blah, blah, Previous Administration blah, blah, blah, and Everyone Agrees blah, blah, blah, Therefore I Have Instructed blah, blah, blah, Michelle Says blah, blah, blah, The World Hates Us blah, blah, blah, I, I, I, Me, Me, Me.

There, now you don't have to wonder what the President is going to say. You don't have to rush to the nearest television bought with the Stimulus Package to find out anything. You've now officially heard/read every single speech he's made or will make.

Why I Voted Democrat

Don't be scared. I didn't vote Democrat, it's just the name of the email that I received today. The content of the email I received is a remarkable insight to Democrat voters. I'm hoping this was written as a joke but I'm not entirely sure since I've actually met people who would agree with some of these statements.

I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I voted Democrat because I believe that oil company profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 15% on the same gallon are not.

I voted Democrat because I believe that the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because I believe that freedom of speech should be strongly supported...as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if if will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned with the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They should break even and give the rest away to government to redistribute as government sees fit.

I voted Democrat because I believe that liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

If you did vote Democrat, especially a straight ticket, you really need to re-read this entry and figure out if this really is you. If it is please seek treatment (at your own damn expense).

Three Women Went To Mexico

Three women went to Mexico one night to celebrate their college graduation...they get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and they release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the Louisiana State University and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya'll right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in!"

Author Unknown

What Do Radical Islamists And PETA Have In Common? Me.

Maybe my mind works in odd ways but sometimes weird things occur to me. This time I was in the local Tony Roma's when I figured out I must be hated by Radical Islamic Jihadists and members of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). Yeah, at the same time!

I know they seem very different but they hate some of the same things...or people. In this case the epiphany came while I was eating a full rack of baby backs (original flavor). You see dear reader...Islam forbids eating pork...and PETA has a hissy fit when people eat animals. And, here I was doing both! I'm a Carnivorous Infidel!!

I'm sure I'll be a marked man for pointing out something else. They have something else in common...they both take advantage of children. Jihadists convince kids to blow up themselves and others. PETA tells horror stories to kids to scare them into vegetarianism.

What else? Well, both groups...Jihadists and PETA...supported the Democrat candidate in the 2008 Presidential election. No surprise there.

Hopefully the Jihadists and PETA won't compare notes on me. 'Cause I'm thinking maybe they come at me with a red paint bomb while I'm eating a pulled pork sandwich.

Are You A Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?

Sorry, don't know who to attribute this too, but it's too insightful to leave unpublished.

Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife and charges at you.

You are carrying a .40 cal Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?

What does the law say about this situation?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

(The last couple of questions were asked while bleeding to death)

Republican's Answer: BANG!

Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydra-Shock hollow points?

Son: Can I shoot the next one?

Wife: You ain't takin' that to the taxidermist!