Sorry, don't know who to attribute this too, but it's too insightful to leave unpublished.
Are you a Democrat, Republican, or Southerner?
Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife and charges at you.
You are carrying a .40 cal Glock, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?
What does the law say about this situation?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
(The last couple of questions were asked while bleeding to death)
Republican's Answer: BANG!
Southerner's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydra-Shock hollow points?
Son: Can I shoot the next one?
Wife: You ain't takin' that to the taxidermist!